IT'S A PANDAN LIFE ...!

Everything can change, but not the language that we carry inside us, like a world more exclusive and final than one’s mother’s womb. ~ Italo Cavino Recently I walked into a bank and was surprised to see one of its promotional posters pasted on the wall. I can’t really recall the product or service that is being promoted but I remember vividly, much to my chagrin, the wordings used: " Tiada fi tahunan ." Now, what on earth is fi ? I know, I know, it is borrowed from the English word ‘fee’ but why borrow when there is an equivalent word in Malay? Isn’t the equivalent word ‘yuran’? And aren’t all Malaysians very familiar with the latter? I have noticed this sickening adoption of English words into the Malay language for so long. But this one takes the cake. But hey, please don’t get me wrong. I am okay if the words borrowed from English are borrowed because there are no equivalent terms in Malay. Borrowing happens in almost every language, anyway. When it comes to the Malay la

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had. ~ Erica Jong I have money But it doesn’t fulfill me I have a house But my heart is not in it I have a car But it doesn’t lift my soul I have a family But they’re far away from me I have friends But they’re busy with their lives I have kids But they’re not with me all the time I have you But my life is half empty.

How much of human life is lost in waiting ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson You're there I'm here So we don't. You're there I'm here So we can't. You're there I'm here So we remain where we are And drown in our sorrows.

A woman isn't complete without a man. But where do you find a man - a real man- these days? ~ Lauren Bacall I am a person who needs a partner who is a practising Muslim. Someone who is self-sufficient with an education (early 20s and 50s and 60s are a no-no). Who is willing to share responsibilities with me (yes, we're talking about household responsibilities here). Who can support me emotionally (especially when I'm having PMS). Who can keep up with the heat and romance (I have a lot of love to give). Effort (in making the marriage work) is a must for me and I need to see efforts being made by my partner often. Lack of efforts makes me feel like he may not be worth it and can cause problems (Uh, scary). Open and honest communication with my partner is a big thing for me because I believe this will help the relationship grow into a closer and loving one. Understanding and caring about each other is the key to making a relationship with me work. Looks are not important a

Shah Ahmed Hazimah Prem Putra Teaching is not a profession; it is a passion. ~ Anonymous If ever one is blessed with sooooooooooo many kids, surely it is I. If you ask me the number of kids I have, I can’t give you an exact number. Man, I can’t even remember some of their names. Suffice to say, my kids would make up more or less 10 soccer teams; would need more or less three large buses to transport them and more or less a row of 15 link houses to shelter them. Let’s not get started with the food and beverages. This afternoon, as I was invigilating an exam, I took a long hard look at them. Some looked totally composed, some weary, some indifferent, and some blank. Whatever expression they had on their faces, I think they still looked cute. Then I started thinking about my other kids. And how lucky they were for not having to toil and sweat in the exam hall. Five of them, to be exact. Now, these would be my super duper kids. Super duper because they’re adults and more educated th

The best thing about Open Houses is you get to sniff and cuddle babies ~ Yours truly Open Houses are synonymous to the Eid-ul-Fitr celebration. I’ve been to a few for the past few weeks. Some were held by colleagues, some by friends. Some I even skipped due to clashes. I have nothing against this practice except that it expands my waistline! But hey, it’s one of those things that you only get to do once a year! Open houses are fun, as I have recently discovered. Besides the delicious and varied food, it is an event where I make new friends and meet old friends; mostly from college. Talking about old friends, I must admit that I used to be very choosy about which old friends that I get to meet. This can’t be helped, I guess. While in college, it is only normal that we get close to certain people only; we form our opinions on who are the people we like or dislike; we resent the people we cannot get along with; we overlook certain people and so forth. Whenever there were events (not neces

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~ Larry Lorenzoni 15 October. Every year, this special day would have a slightly different course of events. This year, I got my first birthday wish from a buddy right when the clock struck midnight. Followed by a few more wishes from my sweet, thoughtful kids. Followed by a wish from my virtual beefcake close to 2.04 a.m. (the exact time I was born). When I woke up in the morning, I felt euphoric. This year, my birthday fell on the third day of Eid-ul-Fitr. It goes without saying that I was at home sweet home with all my family members present. I couldn’t wait to blow my candles!!! Somehow, my youngest sis had accidentally told me that my other sis had already ordered a cake for me. Well, who can blame my youngest sis – we’re very close and naturally, her secret is my secret. Hehehe. More birthday wishes came but I guess I didn’t get as many as I did last year. But it’s okay, it was the t

O children of Adam, we have provided you with garments to cover your bodies, as well as for luxury. But the best garment is the garment of righteousness. [Al Qur'an: Al A'raf (The Heights):26] Days and months spent preparing for this auspicious day drew to a close on 13 October. I must admit I had enjoyed every moment of the preparation. It might sound a bit cliché but what makes Eid-ul-Fitr auspicious to me is the fact that through all the time when I prepared for it , I knew that I am giving – and nothing beats the satisfaction that comes from this act. Although a lot of the time I spent preparing for Eid-ul-Fitr involved shopping for my family but hey, charity begins at home! This year I didn’t shop much. Nor did I buy household items. Maybe because these items, which I had bought prior to previous Eid-ul-Fitr are still good. Preparations for my family included: all the necessary clothing for my mom and sis; cookies (bought, not baked) for my mom; new RM 1 & RM 50 notes

O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed upon those before you in order that you may attain taqwa." [Al Qur'an: Al-Baqarah (The Cow):183] If there is one word that could describe how I feel about Ramadhan, it is wonderful. There is a remarkable SLOWDOWN in almost all aspects of my life throughout this holy month. And I don't mean this in a negative way. The most obvious SLOWDOWN is of course in my diet. Getting up before dawn is a must for me even if it means gulping down a glass of water and making a hasty jump back to bed. Buka puasa (alone) is done in moderation. Normally, a plate of fried noodles or nasi kerabu plus a glass of carrot juice would suffice. Another SLOWDOWN is in the time I spend finishing my day-to-day tasks in the office. Since long lunches and gym trips are scraped, I find that I'm able to finish up my reading, grading, and preparing on time and thus can leave early. The next SLOWDOWN is in worldly activities since Ra

You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. ~ Mohandas Gandhi Right now I am still amazed by what my job leads me to. Recently, it led me to an apostle of freedom. This man, who has been installed as one of the persons of the 20th century by the Times magazine, is none other than Gandhi. I must admit I had almost zero knowledge about this man. Besides the fact that he walked around in white loincloth, leading India to independence, I had no idea what is it about him that appealed to the Indian nation. What more to the entire world. Since one of the literary texts I covered in class had a lot to do with this skinny frail man’s revolutionary ideas, I had no choice but to read up on him (not that I mind). Much to my delight, I discovered so many interesting facts about him, which rendered me speechless. For he is the apostle of not only freedom but also so many other things that other leaders might have forgotten in the course of their mis

A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burdened with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain. ~William Shakespeare Calm My Wretched Soul Calm the wretched pain in my soul For I can’t possibly heal With a pain that recurs and recurs. Calm the wretched blues in my soul For I can’t possibly rejoice With what I’ve never got. Calm the wretched hope in my soul For I can’t possibly hope With a future that looks bleak. Calm the wretched wrath in my soul For I can’t possibly defuse When I reach the intended limit. Calm the wretched love in my soul For I can’t possibly love When my love is feeling wretched.

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. ~ Evan Esar After reading Margaret Atwood's "Happy Endings" recently, I can't help but ponder about this topic for quite some time. What is a happy ending, by the way? Is there a definition for it? While flipping through a book that belongs to Ariani last weekend, I came across a writer's ingenious explanation about what is a happy ending. A happy ending is one that satisfies; in terms of fittingness (the ending is earned, through the actions done) and definiteness (the ending is really clear, appropriate and over and done with). For someone who deals with literary works all the time, the ending of the story is not really important to me. Why? Is there such thing as a happy ending in our lives? Isn't death the ending for everyone? Aren't the how's and the why's more fun to look at? If someone dies, wouldn't we want to know why and how t

The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.~ Abraham Lincoln Besides the usual gang that normally gathers at Ann's place, I have another gang, called the KL Gang (named after the fact that everybody except Ima and me is indisputably residing in KL). We normally take turns to host the gathering. I'm not so sure when it started but I guess there have been a few gatherings ( which I have, by choice, on a few occassions, skipped due to the guaranteed traffic jam). The last one took place at Ariani's and we had a blast!!! What is different about this downtown gathering is the pot luck. Everybody is required to bring her own dish and share it with everybody. I know for a fact that some of us really went out of our ways just to prepare those mouth-watering dishes (I know I did!). Another difference is, we wouldn't have this gathering at regular intervals. It's been like, 4 months since the last time? Ladies, perk up!!! p/s The next gathering is at my

Every object, every being, is a jar full of delight. ~ Rumi I came across these quotes while doing a research on O. Henry, an American writer known for crafting tricky twists in his stories: 1. Write what you like; there is no other rule. 2. Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of life. 3. Life is sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating. 4. If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. These quotes are not only funny but they're also true. They made me beam with delight today! It's Monday, you know (obviously not my favourite day...) Originally posted on http://izzyz7.reciter.com on 5 August 2007

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ~ When Harry Met Sally (movie) Love has been the subject of interest of a great number of writers. Rumi (1207-1273), the great Persian poet and sufi guru, wrote about the divine love. Shakespeare (1564-1616), the great English poet and dramatist, explored love through his sonnets and tragedies. Pablo Neruda (1904 -1973), the great Chilean writer and the 1971 winner of the Nobel Prize, etched love in thousands of his poems. Jane Austen (1775 -1817), the great English novelist, posited the prejudice that comes with love. Regardless of race, sex, genre, location and medium, writers have attempted to explain about love (or to problematize it, as we call it in literature). My perception of love has changed over time. I guess there is an obvious parallel between my perception and my palpable experience in love. One would think that by now I would have given up

N ot having children makes less work—but it makes a quiet house. ~ Susan Glaspell I haven’t gotten close to any of my kids for a long time (kids = students). The first kids I’d gotten close to were my Form 4 kids back when I was teaching in a secondary school in J.B. (12 years ago). I don’t know why they liked me so much but I know I liked them because they’re decent kids, courteous, intelligent and obedient. I can still remember their names: Lee Suan, Aida, Diah and Lan. We kept in touch for a while after I left the school and joined the university, but after some time we became incommunicado. Throughout my years here, I didn’t become close to any kid ( I don’t know why) until I started teaching the executive students in 2003. These are matured, adult students. Some of them are even much older than me. I got close to some of them then. Echot, Faiz, Nicky. Just to name a few. But I don’t know whether these people can be called kids J. Far too old, I would say. Last semester I taugh

People should think things out fresh and not just accept conventional terms and the conventional way of doing things. ~ T.S. Elliot It all started with Mazlin. As usual, Mazlin, Siti, Aida, Ann and I had a gathering at Ann’s place. Ann’s place is strategic for many reasons: 1) her husband is often not around 2) her place is really located at the center, within more or less the same kilometer radius from all of our places 3) she is the one who initiates the gathering and 4) she doesn’t mind the cooking. God bless you, Ann. So there we were lepaking like overweight pythons (after eating to our hearts’ content) on Ann’s comfy couch when Mazlin started to give each one of us a book. I don’t know why you did what you did but I thank you all the same, Mazlin. I got a book titled WHY MEN FALL ASLEEP AFTER SEX. I was ecstatic! Not so much for the knowledge I was going to discover in the book (‘cause I already know why they fall asleep) but for the thought that came with it. Then we had anothe

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. ~Thomas Jefferson Last weekend I went back to my hometown. It's been a while since I did that so I thought, ah, just pack your bags and head home! Plus, my mom and sis have been pestering me mercilessly (as a result, my guilty conscience was working overtime). I don't know what it is about this particular weekend that haunts me. Not in a scary way, though. Been thinking about it since I got home on Sunday. Been like, rewinding again and again the events that happened last weekend on my mind. First, there was this night when me, my mom, sis and her fiance, with the air-cond on and the lights off, huddled in front of the TV, each in his/her own blanket, and watched a horror movie. Well, guess who ended up screaming her lungs out? But the funny thing is, we all fell asleep halfway through watching. Yup, despite the screaming and the huddling. Anyone who saw us that night must

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. ~Tammy Faye Bakker It cannot be denied that the mind, being the most exhaustible organ in the body, needs therapy once in a while. Just like a car which needs engine tuning once in a while. And what better way to treat the mind other than retail therapy? Hehehe. A lot of people don't believe in retail therapy. This is due to their narrowed outlook that a retail therapy doesn't help one much. But it does, actually. After all, a therapy is supposed to be a treatment for a certain problem such as depression or stress. Granted, it may not be the right treatment, but it does help to boost one's mood since retail therapy means: shopping with the purpose of improving one's mood. Plus, retail therapy does not necessarily end up with impulsive and useless purchases like some people believe. Or debts, for that matter. Some people do end up with good and quality purchases; debt-free. Yours truly included :-). So, if you're

A little bit of pain is good for you. ~ Pamela Anderson 35. Female. Divorced. Professional. Friendly. Owns a house. Owns a car. Earns a decent wage. Pretty happy with life. A storm is brewing behind this facade. Again. The dreaded storm is rolling in slowly, with prolonged downpour and incessant lightning, which will eventually culminate in a major thunderbolt, striking the heart without mercy at its most vulnerable spot. And I don't know if my already shrinking heart is able to withstand another storm :-( Originally posted on http://izzyz7.reciter.com on 22 July 2007

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavour by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.~Washington Irving I have been living apart from my mom for years. Looking back at our relationship, I sincerely don't think I got along well with her during my formative years. But that is understandable, since my mom had to work shifts to help with the family income. And also because I have two much younger sisters who really needed her attention more than I did (being the eldest has its disadvantages). It was only when I started to become an adult that I slowly bonded with her. And more so now. Last weekend my mom came over to my place. After shopping and what not, my mom and I found ourselves wondering what

Forsake not an old friend, for a new one does not compare with him.~ Apocrypha - Ecclesiasticus 9:10 6th of May. I always remember this date without fail. It's the birthday of a very, very, very good friend whom I've known since my teenage days. In fact, I sincerely think she is my best friend even though she might not have the same perception about me. But that's okay. Anyway, what is it about her that made me maintain a friendship with for sooooo long? I guess because she accepts me as who I am. Judges me only when I ask her to. Spares time for me when I really need a friend. I practically grew up with her. Went to the same college. Became housemates, then roommates. Worked at the same place during semester breaks. Went shopping together. Explored the clubbing scene in the 90s together. Hehehe. Went for vacations together. I can actually come up with a loooooooonnnnng list of the things we did together and man, looking back, those were the days :-) One of the things that

God is love, but get it in writing. ~Gypsy Rose Lee Teaching drama is not easy. Especially when you only have the text, and not the performance i.e. theatre, video or film. This is always the case where teaching drama at my place is concerned. Sigh. Unless we deal with Shakespeare's drama. Anyway, a teacher has got to be resourceful. Recently, my kids and I did "The Prodigal Son" by Garrison Keillor. I wasn't really impressed with this drama at first. After all, it is just a comedy. A satirical one. But after doing some research on the Net, I found that it is also a parody - a text which is copied from another text, but written in a humouros way. This drama is actually based on "The Parable of the Prodigal Son", a parable in the Bible. The parable revolves around three main characters, The Father, The Good Son and The Prodigal Son. The Prodigal Son, as his name suggests, asked his father to give him his share of the father's wealth, set off for a dista

I think, therefore I'm single. ~Lizz Winstead 30++ and single means: 1. You go home from work with the intention to sleep. 2. You have the money to buy all those branded clothes you've been dreaming about, but they don't have your size. 3. You plan your weekend first thing Monday morning so it won't be a boring weekend spent moping around the house. 4. You are availabe 24/7 in case buddies need a shoulder to cry on (you never switch off your cell phone). 5. You haven't had much luck in the men's department that you pretty much don't have any choice but to be 30++ and single :-) Originally posted on http://izzyz7.reciter.com on 31 March 2007

A feminist is a woman who does not allow anyone to think in her place.~ Michelle Le Doeuff It struck me recently that whenever I need to fill in a form, there would always be this part where I have to state my marital status - single, married, or divorced. Why, oh why, do people need to know that? Though I am divorced, I really, really, really prefer to be identified as single. Here's why: 1. I guess it's not so bad if you have to fill in forms in English, but imagine if the form is in Malay, I would definitely have to tick the 'Janda' box (grimace). Somehow, 'divorced' sounds better than 'janda' or 'bercerai'. This is due to the stigma that comes with the 'janda' status. In the Malay society, the word 'janda' connotes a lot of negative things - that janda is normally 'gatal', 'gila laki orang', 'tak pandai jaga laki' and so on and so forth...Man, people out there really have no idea what kind of hell peop

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ~ Jane Austen 1. When I see a hunky guy. 2. When my boss gives me excellent marks in my appraisal. 3. When a friend treats me to lunch or dinner. 4. When my colleagues or kids praise the shirt or dress I'm wearing (long live, ZARA!). 5. When people outside the campus e.g. cafe owner, whose cafe I frequent (not knowing how old I am or what I do for a living), ask me whether I've recently graduated. 6. When I receive a call from the people I care about. 7. When I see a kissing scene on TV (I do rate those kisses, mind you, on a scale of 1 to 10). 8. When I get a call from the office telling me they've got a cheque for me. 9. When my kids say hi to me. 10. When I actually have the time to attend to my blog :-) Originally posted on http://izzyz7.reciter.com/ on 13 March 2007

Never judge a book by its movie. ~ J. W. Eagan I reckon life would be pretty dull without writers. Recently I finished reading The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro - a British writer of Japanese descent. The pace of the story is pretty slow but what I find particularly intriguing is the writer's style which, if one didn't look at his name, one would think he's a real British Mat Salleh. Coming from a second generation immigrant background, it's really amazing how he can encapsulate the British way of life just by having a butler as the protagonist. A conversation I had with a colleague shed a light on Ishiguro's style - when he writes about Britain, his work would have one mistake him as a pure British Mat Salleh. When he writes about Japan, his work would have one mistake him as a pure Japanese. I've gotta read that Japanese-setting novel of his soon...What is the title, by the way? Other literary works I've also read recently are Pride and Prejudice by

We read deeply for varied reasons, most of them familiar, that we cannot know enough people profoundly enough; that we need to know ourselves better; that we require knowledge, not just of self and others, but of the way things are. ~ Harold Bloom Reading is a must for me. Thanks to my parents, this habit was inculcated in me at a very young age. My dad (God bless his soul) would read me books in English and translate them to Malay.My mom would be doing her stuff and listen in and add a thing or two. It was fun, but after a while I got fed up and wanted to read on my own. So in school I would borrow books in English and read them on my own and ask my dad to translate whenever I didn't understand something. My interest in reading heightened when at the age of 14, my mom brought back a Mills & Boon from office and asked if I wanted to read it. I took weeks to finish and actually understand what I was reading but that was like a turning point in my life because I realized that I

I am not what happened to me; I am what I choose to become ~ Carl Jung Mork You have that demented look on your face again, Mindy. What is bothering you, dear? Mindy A plateau. Mork What? A plateau? Isn't that a place or something, where people go for their vacations? Mindy It is a place, alright. It's just that it can't be seen. Or touched. But you can tell when you're there. At work. At home. Outside of home. You can actually feel it. Mork Huh? Really? Mindy Yeah. It's when you feel these things, you know. Total comfort. Safe routine. No risks. Mork Really??? I don't think I've been to this place. Strange. Mindy That's largely due to the mental conditioning that you've imposed on yourself, silly. That self-fulfilling prophecy that you have achieved and felt content with. Mork So what's wrong with that? What's wrong with feeling content with one's job, one's home and one's social life? Mindy There's nothing wrong with that

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes Some of my buddies have raised the question: Why Pandan? Why not? The Pandan leaf has always had a special place in my heart. I remember, when I was a kid, this cluster of long,green, slender leaves was a common sight at the back of everybody's house, including mine. And I would be like the official pandan leaf picker of my family. My mom always yelled at the top of her lungs when she needed the leaf: "IIIIJAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT!!!! Pegi ambik daun pandan!!!!!" What amazes me is the versatility of the leaf. Everybody knows that it is a popular ingredient in Asian cooking. Being a leaf, it has a floral flavour. That's why it is used to flavour rice dishes and puddings so much. Furthermore, I have always been fascinated by the aroma. It's fresh, floral, invigorating and kinda therapeutic. That's why it is used as pot-pourri in important Malay household events, such as weddings.