Single, Married or Divorced
A feminist is a woman who does not allow anyone to think in her place.~ Michelle Le Doeuff
It struck me recently that whenever I need to fill in a form, there would always be this part where I have to state my marital status - single, married, or divorced. Why, oh why, do people need to know that? Though I am divorced, I really, really, really prefer to be identified as single. Here's why:
1. I guess it's not so bad if you have to fill in forms in English, but imagine if the form is in Malay, I would definitely have to tick the 'Janda' box (grimace). Somehow, 'divorced' sounds better than 'janda' or 'bercerai'. This is due to the stigma that comes with the 'janda' status. In the Malay society, the word 'janda' connotes a lot of negative things - that janda is normally 'gatal', 'gila laki orang', 'tak pandai jaga laki' and so on and so forth...Man, people out there really have no idea what kind of hell people like me had to go through...It's not that I asked to be married to a ****ing asshole...
2. I have been divorced longer than I was married. Everytime I had to tick the 'Divorced' box, I can't help but be reminded of those years I wasted being married to a ****ing asshole. Do I have to be reminded of that fact all the time???
3. I am not handicapped by my marital status. Whether single, married, or divorced, I am still able to support myself, settle my bills when they are due, be responsible citizens, think for myself and function well at my workplace. What difference does it make if I'm single, married or divorced? Single, married or divorced, I still have to pay the same amount of taxes...don't I???
4. It's bad enough that they ask me whether I am male or female (this question is a must on any form), now they've got to narrow it down to single, married or divorced woman??? Come on, this is the age of women's lib!!!!
It struck me recently that whenever I need to fill in a form, there would always be this part where I have to state my marital status - single, married, or divorced. Why, oh why, do people need to know that? Though I am divorced, I really, really, really prefer to be identified as single. Here's why:
1. I guess it's not so bad if you have to fill in forms in English, but imagine if the form is in Malay, I would definitely have to tick the 'Janda' box (grimace). Somehow, 'divorced' sounds better than 'janda' or 'bercerai'. This is due to the stigma that comes with the 'janda' status. In the Malay society, the word 'janda' connotes a lot of negative things - that janda is normally 'gatal', 'gila laki orang', 'tak pandai jaga laki' and so on and so forth...Man, people out there really have no idea what kind of hell people like me had to go through...It's not that I asked to be married to a ****ing asshole...
2. I have been divorced longer than I was married. Everytime I had to tick the 'Divorced' box, I can't help but be reminded of those years I wasted being married to a ****ing asshole. Do I have to be reminded of that fact all the time???
3. I am not handicapped by my marital status. Whether single, married, or divorced, I am still able to support myself, settle my bills when they are due, be responsible citizens, think for myself and function well at my workplace. What difference does it make if I'm single, married or divorced? Single, married or divorced, I still have to pay the same amount of taxes...don't I???
4. It's bad enough that they ask me whether I am male or female (this question is a must on any form), now they've got to narrow it down to single, married or divorced woman??? Come on, this is the age of women's lib!!!!
p/s The pic is an image of 'reincarnated' Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom
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