What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

"In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that." ~Fred Lebow, New York City Marathon co-founder.

That I finished it. This is what I talk about when I talk about running. Nothing else. How I do it, the time I clock in, and did I get a medal or not are largely irrelevant to the present discussion.

Earlier this year, having heard multiple accounts of running from my muse and my buddy, Intan, I decided to take part in a race. There must be something really satisfying about it, I thought. If not, how come two of my favourite people in this world are addicted to it, eh? Hehe.

When another buddy asked me if I’d be interested to run in the Cyberjaya Night Race, I was ecstatic. I’ve always wanted to experience it firsthand but wasn’t really keen at the idea of having a go at it alone. My buddy and I were in the same boat, we’d never ever done this before and would like to run only for the sake of trying something new. I’d also wanted to find out what is it about running that really compel my muse and one of my best buddies. I figured that one of the ways to really understand someone is to try to understand his/her labour of love.

So when the time finally came, I had mixed emotions. 10 km is a long distance. I was anxious and scared. Am I fit enough to finish it? Will I collapse ? I’d never, ever run long distance. At school I used to run short distances and that was it. Furthermore, my health condition is not at its best. Besides my asthma (thank God it is under control), doc has diagnosed that I have symptoms of early osteoarthritis, which explains the pain I experience in my knees sometimes. Result of too much steroid in those asthma medications I’d been taking since I was a kid. Running is definitely not a good idea since it will put a strain on my weak knees. But I told myself I had to try this out. Just once. I also found solace in the fact that my buddy was going to be there running with me.

My anxiety began weeks prior to the run. I did what I could to practice. I ran with my buddy at the UPM jogging track, I went to the gym for my kickboxing and yoga. I skipped rice a week leading to the run. I sought advice from my muse and my best buddy. These were my preparations. Not that impressive but I didn’t care. I wasn’t running to impress anybody. Or to win any medal, for that matter. I was only going to try it out.

And tried I did. I surprised myself by finishing within the time given. It gave me a high for about two days and that was it. But I can now understand why people run. It’s a labour of love – of some kind. Besides the already obvious health and social benefits (and I’m not going to list them here), I guess running gives you the satisfaction of being able to push yourself physically and this knowledge - that you are able to tackle a physical challenge – serves as a much-needed boost to your ego.

Recently I did my second run. 12 km. I don’t know what had motivated me to run this time but I figured I’ve got nothing to lose if I did. Worst case scenario is  a few hundred calories. Hehe. Which is good. But my run this time around was different because I did not really prepare myself for it, and I was having my period. My soles were also hurting (need to replace those running shoes). This time too, I didn’t have a running buddy and I was running all by myself. But I finished the run. I couldn’t care less about my timing. Or the fact that I walked most of the time this time around. Or the fact that it didn't give me the high  that it did the first time I tried it. What's important is I finished it.