IT'S A PANDAN LIFE ...!

"In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that." ~Fred Lebow, New York City Marathon co-founder. That I finished it. This is what I talk about when I talk about running. Nothing else. How I do it, the time I clock in, and did I get a medal or not are largely irrelevant to the present discussion. Earlier this year, having heard multiple accounts of running from my muse and my buddy, Intan, I decided to take part in a race. There must be something really satisfying about it, I thought. If not, how come two of my favourite people in this world are addicted to it, eh? Hehe. When another buddy asked me if I’d be interested to run in the Cyberjaya Night Race, I was ecstatic. I’ve always wanted to experience it firsthand but wasn’t really keen at the idea of having a go at it alone. My buddy and I were in the same boat, we’d never ever done this befo

Aku dah lalui semua perasaan itu. Perasaan itu wujud dalam pelbagai dimensi dan ada pasang surut dan aku dah lalui semuanya. Dan aku tak takut lalui semula sebab perasaan itu boleh menjadi perkara yang terindah jika kena caranya. Kalau aku takut untuk lalui semula lebih baik aku berhenti jadi seorang manusia. Tak perlulah aku kupaskan ciri-ciri seorang manusia tu kan.   Kadang kadang aku benci dengan perasaan ini. Sebab perasaan ini tak pernah membawa aku ke mana-mana pun. Aku pun heran kenapa aku tak putus asa lagi. Kalau lah ada ubat anti-biotik untuk perasaan ini, senangnya hidup aku sebab  perasaan yang telah lama bersarang ni akan terus terbantut dan jumud untuk kesekian kalinya. Tamat. Jadi aku pasrah. Aku malas nak tanya dari mana datang perasaan ni sebab aku percaya otak kerdil aku ni takkan dapat mencari jawapannya. Walaupun perasaan ini buat hidupku kadang kadang jadi tak tentu arah. Walaupun aku jadi separuh gila cuba untuk memahami diri kau. Bersabar dengan keegoan kau.

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to. ~John Ed Pearce Everytime I drive home from my place (Bangi) to Johor (Mom’s place), my mom or sis would be calling, asking where I'd reached. This ritual would start even when I’m still at home and if I were, they’d be asking me when I’d leave. When I said I’d leave in the morning, my mom would take it to literally mean around 8. But being the relax-and-no-need-to-rush person that I am, morning could be anytime between 8 -12. 10-12, to be more exact. Hehe. I’ve gotten used to this ritual for years. Those calls mean quite a number of things to me. One, I feel like they really miss me. Two, they can’t wait to see me. Three, I feel like I’m really wanted. And four, I feel like I’m important to them. Clearly, I enjoy this ritual and look forward to it every time I drive home. I’d be somersaulting inside when I get calls from my mom or sis. Hehe. This ritual stopped, however, the second last time I dr