2011, framed

Framing 2011. Accompanied by my favourite pics. A picture speaks a thousand words, remember this old adage?

What I managed to do in 2011:

1. Keep on working on my PHD.

I guess I managed to do this. I spent the whole year writing up about more or less 40k words. I’m a bit slow in writing, I realized. I worry too much. I realized a bit too late too, about the feasibility of Marxism in my area of study – so spent the last 3-4 months of 2011 reading, framing and cursing the theory. Nevertheless, I now revere Marx and Engels for their insightful and practical inquiry. And thanks to all the readings I’ve done (not only on Marxism), I find that I’m more attuned to my own culture, my country and how these have evolved. I’ve never felt more patriotic than now. The tanah air that I’ve known is never corrupt, it’s those at the helm that are corrupt.

2. Put on more weight (and then lost some).

I did do this. I ballooned up as a result of my trip to UK. I couldn't zip up my old jeans, I couldn't button up my kebaya. I got so disgusted, it was a down-right wakeup call! I went on a strict diet, picking up cues from the Net and a book that I'd bought a long time ago about eating six small meals per day. After 7 weeks of dieting, and as 2011 came to a close, I lost 5 kg. Not that anybody noticed. But that’s okay. I ’m doing this for me and not anybody else. Will continue this dieting for the next couple of months. Discipline is key. I do indulge once a week, though, hence the cooking on Sundays. I’d normally ask people to come on over but if no one could, that’s their loss. Hehehe.

3. Travel.

Been to the States in January, and UK in October. Stepped foot in Bath Spa University. Enough said.

4. Print out all those nice recipes on the Net and do something about them.

I managed to try out some new recipes. When they worked I felt like a domestic goddess through and through. Hahaha. But after trying them out I'd normally just shove those recipes into the kitchen cupboard. I really need to compile all these recipes into a neat scrapbook/recipebook. This should really go into my bucket list. Say what???

5. Going to entertaining and stimulating theatre shows/MPO concerts/movies.

I went to a couple of interesting shows. Madu III, written by Alfian Saat, was an excellent one. Into the Centre, a  superb classical Indian fusion dance-show, was a collaboration of dance groups from Malaysia and the states, led by Ramli Ibrahim. At last I got to see this legend perform live! The Secret Life of Nora was technologically and artistically impressive but the story line was so-so. Tiara Jacquelina improved her singing but the 60s failed to be re-lived. Another memorable one was on New Year’s Day (2012) when I went to catch Keroncong Gala in Singapore. I’ve always liked keroncong. The laid-back yet soothing music has always tingled my senses. I learnt a lot of things at this gala. Such as it developed upon the arrival of the Portuguese traders in the Malay archipelago in the 16th century who brought with them unique musical instruments that influenced the Javanese to develop a new musical style. I learnt about the musical instruments played for keroncong, mainly the ukuleles and the angklung. Keroncong really gained popularity during the colonial times when the song Bengawan Solo became a hit. I was surprised to find that while it became a nationalistic song among the Indonesians, it also became a favourite song for the Japanese soldiers, who longed to return home. All this wealth of knowledge, coupled by the enthusiasm of the singers (such as Hetty Koes Endang and Julie Sudiro) and the audience (mostly Singapore's pak ciks and mak ciks) involved in the gala to support and fight for the survival of keroncong almost reduced me to tears. It was a full house, mind you!

6. Hike up Broga Hill.

With Iman. I’ve always wanted to, just didn’t have the company to go with. Plus, I like to try something new and adventurous sometimes. Broga was a new experience for me, hiking up hills is not. Broga and the green view  from the top are simply breathtaking.

7. Stop eating nasi lemak Tang lin.

Simply because the outlet I usually frequented to in Bangsar has closed. Why oh why????

8. Get rid of my fear of confrontations and let go of my anger instead of accumulating it.

But the damage was huge. My best friend didn’t talk to me for six months. I don’t know what kind of effects it left on my muse when at times, I confronted him to clear up the air on certain things. He probably thought I was a sentap-psycho. Whatever. At least I was being true to my own feelings. At least I didn’t keep it all bottled up inside. It can make my heart heavy. I don’t need the extra weight. My brain is already heavy with those Permanent-Head-Damage (PHD) stuff. I also believe honesty is the best policy. If you have questions, ask. If you have doubts, ask. Asking is a virtue.

9. Continue living alone.

I’ve developed an extreme aversion to this condition especially in 2011. It suffocated me at times. But I am my own nurse. I nursed my own feelings. It's not an easy task, though. 

10. Attend three joyful weddings.

I used to hate going to weddings. But after three joyful weddings, I began to see the beauty of weddings. I don’t know why but I always feel like a beaming proud parent when my friends got married, probably because these friends used to be my students. To Shahm, Suzie and Dek Non, I wish you happiness. Yes, this is the most important part of being married – that you’re happy. Other material things are really secondary. So what if you two lived in a flat with not enough furniture? So what if you two had rice and fried eggs and kicap for lunch? You can still be happy. Knowing that there’s someone there with you, sharing the imperfections in life, is happiness. I was a bridesmaid at Dek Non’s wedding. Wait, isn’t this whole bridesmaid thing not part of our culture? Come on, Malays or Malaysians, for that matter, have been exposed to Western ideas and cultures for ages. Colonialism saw to that. They have also been exposed to so many other cultures. This is the age of globalization lah. To maintain some kind of notion of cultural purity and originality would be naive and simplistic. Moreover, what better way to honour your loyal buddies than to ask them to accompany you when you take those slow, cautious, but euphoric steps to holy matrimony? Dek Non’s marriage solemnization (or nikah) really exemplifies what I want in a wedding (if I ever get married again). Immediate family members and close friends. Nikah. Mas kahwin. No such thing as  the burdening duit hantaran. I think a small wedding is more meaningful than a big one in a fancy hotel with 1000 guests, of whom you might only know like, 20  or 30 people? More over, a marriage is not really about how it begins, but how it ends. Suzie’s wedding had more or less the same adorable traits. Perhaps the most adorable is the fact that Rafael moved here to be with her after years of long-distance relationship. I guess when a man loves a woman, he’ll never give her up, no matter how hard the situation is!

What I didn’t manage to do in 2011:

Bring my own shopping bags on Saturdays. I always forgot. Damn it! So much for my ecocritical undertakings, huh?

Worst moments in 2011:

I had three major melt-downs this year. The last one was related to my cat, Izzy, who died a painful death. The other two, well, let’s just say they were PHD-induced. Yup, because doing my PHD means I get to stay at home more than I would like to, thus I tend to ponder too much on my life - past, present and future. All kinds of shitty feelings were evoked when I did this. I think too much (so my muse has said). Well yeah, it's better than not to think at all. I am a thinker and don't take things at face value.

Favourite song in 2011:

Make You Feel My Love - Adele. First heard this song while I was in UK. Really touched my heart and felt like all the words in the song speak for my feelings towards my muse.

Favourite artist in 2011:

Adele. Such an incredible talent. I feel like I could relate to all her songs - some were like the stories of my life!!!

Favourite moments/pics in 2011:

1. Snapped by Suzie's daughter. On a bus heading to Grand Canyon. Crochet/knitted cap made by thoughtful Dek Non. February 2011.

2. Shahm's wedding. This pic kinda encapsulates 1Malaysia. Hehe. Also first-ever wedding attended with muse. March 2011.

3. With my niece, Arina, at Sepang F1 Circuit. March 2011.

4. With my kids who were doing their school practicum in Melaka. May/June 2011.

5. Snapped by me. Priceless! First-ever! I thought I'd never see the day when he'd cut his hair. One of his friends asked, "What did you do to make him cut his hair?". I said, "Do I look like someone who can tell him to do things?". Hehe. June 2011.

6. Suzie's long-awaited wedding. July 2011.

7. With Dee and Fana, used to be my pets in class, who are now teachers themselves. A great meet-up after so long. September 2011.

8. I was Pocahontas! At my god son, Isyraf's birthday party. September 2011.

9. My niece, Qaleesha, or Qeesha. Pic taken by my sis a few weeks after Qeesha learned to walk. October 2011.

10. At last, stepped foot in Shakespeare's Stratford upon Avon! Snapped by Hakem. October 2011.

11. A stroll in Lower Earley, Reading, UK, with Faiz. Snapped by Hassan. This pic reminds me not only of Faiz, who's doing her PHD, but also other fellow travelers on the PHD trail. Yup, while the PHD journey is a lonely one, I have to keep reminding myself that there are other people who have gone or are going on the same journey. Unlike the straight road in this pic, the PHD road is never a straight one. November 2011.

12. I was a bridesmaid at Dek Non's wedding! First-ever. Made friends fast with the other bridesmaids, Dek Non's long-time, cool, funny, and happening friends: Rima, Ayu and Farah. Though I'd only met them on the day of the wedding, it felt like we've known each other for the longest time. I'm the wisest in this pic, though. Hehe. December 2011.