IT'S A PANDAN LIFE ...!

“It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty.” ~  Jonathan Safran Foer Recently I discovered how to know whether you're important to other people who matter to you. Just keep quiet at home and don't get in touch with them. This is what I did for 4 days. Except for those calls from banks offering loans and what not and those spam texts telling me about sales here and there, no one actually called and text! I couldn't believe it! My own family didn't even bother to call me! If I died at home, alone, my body would probably rot for a few weeks before people discover them! Great! This isn't a game of popularity. It's a simple game of whether people care about you. I'm not angry at anybody. I learned not to get angry at people I care about. When I'm angry, it can become really ugly.The last time I got angry, my best friend didn't talk to me for six months! Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go on a study leave

     A tribute to my feline son, Izzy, 21.09.2002 - 08.11.2011. I'd always thought, perhaps I'd even taken for granted, that you'd live a long healthy life. To hear that you died in so much pain was really heart-wrenching, I felt like killing myself. Please forgive me Izzy, for not being there. You came into my life when there was really a large void in my life. I'd been divorced, had moved in to my new house. At the same time my family, my main pillar of strength, had  moved from KL to Johor. The emptiness was simply too much to bear. Words can't describe how much joy you brought to my life when I adopted you. You were barely 4 or 5 months old when I took you home. Only a kitty, totally helpless and dependent on me. Well, yeah, you did bring some headaches during your formative years but those were really  peanuts compared to the happiness you brought. You'd wait  eagerly for me at the sliding door when I came back from work. You'd sleep with me at night.

                          A stroll in Lower Earley, Reading, with Faiz.                                                                              Picture credit to Hassan. Some ramblings about my third trip to the UK. The first was back in 2003, second was in 2008. This time around I took comfort in the fact that my buddy Faiz was there - accommodation can be so damn expensive in UK, as I learnt in 2008. So yeah, Faiz was my main motivation. I wouldn't have embarked on the trip if Faiz wasn't making a living there. Besides the fact that I'd be staying at her place in Reading, I was actually overjoyed  - I havent met her for almost three years and I miss her coolness, her wisdom, her sense of humour and her sense of style. People who know Faiz would know what I meant by the latter. Hehehe. This time I stayed for three weeks. Rented a car and did some touring up north with Faiz and Hassan and Hakem - all I know or can recall) was we drove up to Stratford, Sheffield, Corb