Riding High on Solitude

Solitude is a condition of peace that stands in direct opposition to loneliness. Loneliness is like sitting in an empty room and being aware of the space around you. It is a condition of seperateness. Solitude is becoming one with the space around you. It is a condition of union. Loneliness is small, solitude is large. Loneliness closes in around you; solitude expands toward the infinite ~ Kent Nerburn

Spending the weekend alone at home can be painful and tremendously boring, but after weeks of juggling so many things at the office, I welcomed it. I didn’t welcome the flu bug that accompanied me, though.
I had wished for this solitude. Long hours at the office coupled with heavy downpours every evening, had made me wished I was at home, under the blankie, cuddling with a good book, a cup of hot Milo on hand. And I got my wish. Only, I’ve got other things accompanying the cup of hot Milo: a stack of pills to get rid of the flu. Well, as the saying goes: Be careful of what you wish for!
While watching the Travel and Living channel, I was reminded of a particular weekend a few weeks back, when I met up with friends at the Central Market. I really dreaded the thought of driving all the way to CM, leaving my car in the parking lot, only to find it completely covered with bird droppings! Yes, that’s what happened the last time I parked my car at CM! So, I came up with this brilliant idea of parking my car at the Setiawangsa LRT Station and taking a ride to CM. A decision that I didn’t regret. In fact, I was elated!
It’s been ages since I took a ride on a train. So, after leaving my car at the parking lot, I walked slowly to the station. Besides the condos that have sprouted opposite the station, nothing much has changed. People are still buying tix from the counter, the vending machines are still there for show. Nevertheless, I felt so ordinary, and humble, which was a good feeling.
But as I walked up slowly to the platform and waited for the train, I sank into a mood of deep nostalgia. This is the station where my Dad would pick up my youngest sis every time she finished her tuition. This is also the nearest station to our home last time, and every time a situation necessitated a train ride, we would head to this station quickly.
I pretty much ride in trains whenever I travel overseas. Riding in train is one of the best ways to sightsee a country, especially in Europe, where the train system is so efficient and well-connected. Where the KL LRT is concerned, my ride this time around entailed discovering the changes, or should I say, developments, in the neighbourhood that I grew up in. Indeed, these changes indicate the years that have passed since I left KL for good. As the train rode through Keramat and Damai, I noticed the big wet market that had been developed. It stood majestically amidst the simplicity of the houses that surround it. I also noticed the greenery that surrounds this Malay suburb, amidst the concrete buildings and constructions. It certainly soothed my eyes and I hope these green patches stay that way forever and will not be cleared for whatever reason.
I reached CM and met up with R. It’s been ages since I stepped into the market. While waiting for R, I noticed the changes that had taken place in the market itself. The shops now sell more Malaysian crafts, which is a good thing. It now has a new food court on the first floor, which has a very retro ambience to it and which encapsulates the Malaysian identity. The food was not bad, too. I was really impressed with the changes in CM and told myself that I would go there again one of these days, just to explore every nook and cranny of the market. I used to do this when I was a teen ;-)
After a movie screening at the Annexe, R and I met up with a few other friends, some I’ve known and some I haven’t. We ate to our hearts’ content and talked about a lot of stuff, from politics to literature to reality TV. Conversations with these guys, who come from a range of intellectual backgrounds, were a very liberating experience.
R and I took a train ride to Setiawangsa. R felt a strange sense of déjà vu as we walked to my car. I guess with the condos built right opposite the station, Setiawangsa does resemble Singapore a bit. I sent R off to Bangsar to meet another friend of ours. R thanked me for taking the time to meet up and I said it was my pleasure. It is always my pleasure to spare time for friends. This is my strength. And weakness, sometimes.
But now I am sparing time for myself. This may sound corny but staying at home, doing nothing, can be bliss, too. Well, nothing here connotes (among other things) doing housechores (by degrees), watching one of those foreign movies that I’d bought and forgotten, catching up on my reading, getting entertained by one or two reality TV programs and taking those anti-flu medication, but it is a nothing that made me ride high this weekend; on a level that no one can't trespass. Indeed, solitude can be sheer bliss.