2017 Delayed Review

How sad and bad and mad it was - but then, how it was sweet. ~ Robert Browning. 

Delayed review, what can I say. Hehe. Too lazy. But 2017 has been good, over all. Great, in fact!

Career -wise I guess I checked all the KPI boxes. I got the promotion, grant, publications and what not. But it was not smooth-sailing. The whole year I had to grapple with the preparation of the New Curriculum, which started when I began my term as the Coordinator for the BA English Lit program in 2016. There were times I really lost my head but I was blessed to have two junior colleagues helping me out with the preparation. My RA also helped out in terms of formatting and whatnot. I remember at one time the four of us stayed in my office until 11 pm to finish off the document! Come to think of it, I really couldn't have made it through without these people's help. Blessed!

If I'm not mistaken my eyes started giving me problems early 2017. I couldn't wear my contact lens any more. They kept coming off every time I put them on. When I talked to Intan about it she said it's normal, age factor, eyes become dry. The best way to deal with it is to stop wearing lenses for a while and put on glasses. I tried, it worked. But I really hated wearing glasses because my glasses have become too heavy. Power had increased so the thickness of the lens naturally increased, too. Also, I guess my habit of reading iPad at night had also cost my near vision. To sum it up, my eyes became a real problem for me. Nok suggested I go for lasik and the next thing I knew she set an appointment with the eye clinic at IIUM Kuantan for me! After rigorous checkups, the eye specialist confirmed I could do lasik! I didn't know that not everyone could undergo lasik. It really depends on your eyes. I was lucky, I guess. But one month before the operation,  I was asked not to wear lenses. I was really pissed but persevered.  I didn't have any choice. The doctor told me my left eye would be used for my near vision while my right eye for far vision. I also learned that there are three different procedures under lasik. The procedure he chose for me was called ReLex Smile. All I know is that they made an incision at one side of the cornea to allow access to the lenticule which is then removed from the cornea. After the lenticule is removed, the overall shape of the cornea is altered (through some laser ray) so that power of the eye is changed (for the better). I also learned that the cost for the op at IIUM Kuantan was really cheap compared to private hospitals in KL. I only had to pay RM4500 - and this included the pre and post consultations and checkups! In KL it would easily cost me RM11000! I found out that I came to IIUM at the right time because they were going to revise the charges in September. After the revision, prices would likely double! My op was conducted 3 months before this revision! Phew!!!

 I was really3 worried prior to the op. I was thinking, what if something went wrong during the op? I'd be blind. Grimace.  But I've gotta hand it to the professional team at IIUM. They convinced me that they had proven track record. Which I believed. Hehe. Anyway, I went for the op in June and it went well. I was awake most of the time. I didn't see anything except shades of crumpled grey during the op, which was actually the lenticule and it became one smooth  grey surface after the lenticule  was removed. Pheww! But I didn't really get my 'new' vision right after I stepped out of the op room. It came gradually.  I was also challenged with some itchiness a few days after the op but after using the eye drop prescribed by the clinic, it was okay. I felt liberated, really. It was like getting a pair of new eyes! The ability to see things far and near, clearly, was really euphoric! The funny thing is I still tried to reach for my glasses every time I woke up! And when in the bathroom, I always felt like I needed extra time to put on my lenses! And this went on for a couple of days after the op. I have to thank Nok for putting up with me  during those times when I had to go to Kuantan and bunked at her place. Before and after the op. More so after the op because I had to continuously go for checkups within 6 months after the op.  Flying in and out of Kuantan every month. I am forever indebted to her!

Vacation-wise, I went to a couple of places in 2017. Started off with a vacay in Lombok in January. It was fun but Nok and I learned that three's is not always a company. Sometimes friends that you get along well with may not necessarily be an ideal travel buddy. After a two night stay at a hotel in Gili Trawangan, we stayed at a private villa in Sengigi. Had fun in our bikinis at the private pool. Haha. I remember the three of us went crazy buying bikinis prior to the trip! The thought of having the pool all to ourselves was exhilarating hence the bikinis. I wrote a review in Trip Advisor about the slow-serving restaurant at the hotel where we stayed and to my surprise, my review was read 500+ times!! Haha. The power of words. 

Lombok

Koh Samui 

In May Jenal, Zam, Yati and I went to Koh Samui. It was a treat by Yati! We stayed at a private villa facing the sea. No private pool, though.  We had fun hiking, eating, island-hopping and playing cards (I never won with these people!). In July I went to the UK. Got some money from my grant to present a paper in Brighton. I took it for granted that I could spend and go anywhere I want with my grant money but it certainly wasn't so. Everything needs permission from RMC! I almost didn't make it to the conference in Brighton because of my ignorance, but after some persistent appeal, I made it!  Phew!!!

In August I got a friend request from some lady in JB. Thinking it was my ex student, I accepted. Little did I know that I was being stalked by some crazy ex girlfired of my fucking ex husband! After a chat that was awkward on FB, I knew something fishy was going on. Apparently Nok and my sister were also stalked because they got follow requests from the same IG accounts. Some even had my ex husband's pics as the profile pics! Immediately, I blocked all suspicious FB and IG followers. Then I got a lenghty whatsapp message asking if I wanted to return to my ex. Fucking hell!  After a lenghty discussion with Nok, we came to the conclusion that this crazy bitch was probably dumped by that fucking bastard, and he obviuosly had been spinning stories about getting back with me as a way of getting out of the relationship! Which wasn't the first time. I once met an ex colleague of him a couple of years after the divorce and based on this lady's story, it seemed that he had been spinning sad stories about how I had looked down on him throughout our marriage! So if he had spinned some romantic stories about us getting back together again after 14 years, I'm not surprised. But it amazed me that this bitch believed it! Without so much of an evidence! Typical of wechat generation! My last straw was when I got a message at 3 am! I blocked the number and even contemplated making a police report. A friend whose husband is in the police force had advised me how to go about doing it. But I hated the hassle. I thought that was the last straw but in 2018 #bitchstillhadn'tmovedon, I got a message on FB messenger from supposedly a friend of the bitch, hurling all kinds of accusation at me. So pathetic. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry over the idiocy. #bitchplease!  But I chose to ignore. God knows what else is coming my way from these bitches. Obviously they had a problem of letting go of that fucking bastard and moving on. He must have screwed up big time. Well, what else is he good at? Fucking loser. I hope he dies a horrible death and rot in hell!

The highlight of 2017 was when I had to run the Play Production course. Before this only this particular colleague had been running it. Then Kak Wan took over. Then me. It was really daunting but I took up the challenge. It was tiring, too. I went to practice nights at least two or three times a week, coming home late at night.  Because all these years the plays staged were all adapted Western plays and a bit immature in my opinion for university level, I chose Atomic Jaya, a Malaysian play by Huzir Sulaiman. I've always told myself if I were to stage a play, this would be it. My dream came true. Had problems with securing the venue, sponsors, costumes, and experts to hold the workshops. Even had to contact a colonel (Qadri) I'd never met to borrow an Army uniform. But my kids, 45 of them were really cool and hardworking. I was blessed. I had three Japanese students and four China students. A few from the Communciation Department as well who apparently had some experience in theatre shows. The cast were also awesome. I learnt a lof of things the whole time the course was running. But my kids really amazed me. They came together and put up a sold-out show for two consecutive nights! The opening night was marred a bit by some technical glitch but my kids were really calm and collected. I really respect them for that. It was really a humbling experience. I was also overwhelmed to see friends, students past and present coming to the shows, lending their support. If I could sum up this Play Production course, I would say it is very tiring but rewarding in the end. Ann said that this could be my calling. I guess so. It was my biggest project after PhD. Lol. I had also become so attached to the kids that after the staging I felt lost.Tremendously. It's like I have sent my kids to the boarding school. The house is empty. You know your kids are still around but you don't get to see them anymore. This was the sense of loss that I felt. It sucked. 

 The Play Production team

Atomic Jaya

During the year end school holidays I enrolled my niece, Qesha, in a 3-day art class in Putrajaya. She was very ecstatic, of course.  I had first-hand experience of being a typical mother who sends her kid to school early in the morning and had to rush off by 5 to pick up her kid. I had to take care of food, sleep etc. I thought it really needed a lot of patience and love. Not sure I could do that on a daily basis. Lol. But what's important was Qesha really enjoyed it. I coud imagine Qesha one day, that small town girl who comes to the city. She seems self-assured, not daunted at all, coming from a small town and all. Those around her would find her confidence and sultriness interesting. I found it interesting. She kept on saying she missed her Mommy and baby sister. Even brought a piece of her sister's clothes to sleep with. Her filial love is really humbling. 

The small town girl 

To end 2017, I brought my Mom to JB (read: JPO). Lol. This is almost like a yearly ritual (read: shopping spree) and I intend to make it so. Mom deserves to be treated once in a while. And I exhilarate at the thought of having her company all to myself. We shopped for two days straight. Mom is planning to go on a tour to Europe so she had a lot  of stuff to buy to prepare for the vacay. We stayed overnight at JB. This shopping spree was the best one because I brought the money from one of my piggy banks. It felt awesome to buy a lot of stuff with cash, not worrying about the price tag. Absolute cash. Lol. I felt no qualms walking into Marks and Spencer grabbing all those foodstuff without worrying about price. Lol. 

Happy time with Mom

I guess 2017 wasn't bad at all. I've been blessed. As 2018 was approaching I had not been able to move on. Haha. Not sure what 2018 had in store for me but towards the end of January I slowly accepted that life had to move on. Thank you God for 2017.