IT'S A PANDAN LIFE ...!

How sad and bad and mad it was - but then, how it was sweet. ~  Robert Browning.  Delayed review, what can I say. Hehe. Too lazy. But 2017 has been good, over all. Great, in fact! Career -wise I guess I checked all the KPI boxes. I got the promotion, grant, publications and what not. But it was not smooth-sailing. The whole year I had to grapple with the preparation of the New Curriculum, which started when I began my term as the Coordinator for the BA English Lit program in 2016. There were times I really lost my head but I was blessed to have two junior colleagues helping me out with the preparation. My RA also helped out in terms of formatting and whatnot. I remember at one time the four of us stayed in my office until 11 pm to finish off the document! Come to think of it, I really couldn't have made it through without these people's help. Blessed! If I'm not mistaken my eyes started giving me problems early 2017. I couldn't wear my contact lens any more. The...

“Go where we may, rest where we will,  Eternal London haunts us still.”  ―  Thomas Moore I actually wanted to write a review of my life for the first half of 2017 but I shall put that on hold. The London trip that I took recently is more urgent, considering I have a few pointers (which I would soon forget) that would make my travels in future, London or anywhere else, much easier. (Yeah, I never learned from my previous travels). As a side note, this trip was a reward to myself for completing my PhD last year. Yeeha! But in order to make it more economical, I purposely found a conference (in Brighton) to present a paper.  1. When in London, the first thing you need to do at the airport is to get the Oyster card. This can be used for tubes and buses. Pay 5£ and top up whatever amount - 20£ would be nice and gets you to many places. 2.  You can practically get to any where in London through tubes. Buses are cheaper, of course but tubes are faster....

There are times When I listen to music I feel like sharing it with you Certain beat just add up And merge with this image of you Running, breathing, sweating When I watch a movie even I keep having this conversation with you in my head whilst my heart swells  and eats this bitterness. 

Writing a review of 2016, as is customary when the new year has begun (for quite some time now, huhu).  Hmm. If I could summarize 2016 in a sentence, I would say that 2016 has been a hectic yet rewarding year for me. Here's why: Career I guess career-wise 2016 was really a hectic year for me. After 8 months of waiting, I was called for the PhD Viva in April. I was informed two weeks in advance, when I was chilling out at Nok's place in Kuantan, so practically I had ample time to prepare. But preparing for the Viva was  really nerve-wrecking. I really had no idea who my external examiners were until the day before the Viva. I was so fucking worried!  I mean, these two examiners were like professors in the field I am doing - so yes, there was that worry that they would be very critical of my work. But it turned out the internal examiner was more critical - well, that was sorta expected. My supervisor had assured me that the internal examiner had passed me but still...

You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories ~ Stanislaw Jerzy Lec I remember this date I would have baked you a cake I would have bought you a gift I would have picked you up We would have dined out Or went to the theatre And stayed in the car for hours And you would have made time With an eagerness you hid so well I remember this date Fondly Though the eternal I had hoped Left suddenly.

A penny saved is a penny earned. ~ Benjamin Franklin.  I had two piggy banks for 2015. One was the 52-Week-Challenge piggy bank and the other was the Coin piggy bank. The 52-Week-Challenge was fun. I was very disciplined and by the last week of 2015, had saved about RM1378. My Coin piggy bank on the other hand, yielded about RM265. I decided to treat myself. End of story, LOL. For 2016, I have three piggy banks. I am continuing with the two piggy banks mentioned above and added another piggy bank. This third bank is what I call the 1-Ringgit -1-Day Challenge. It was suggested by my BFF. The aim however, is not to reward myself but rather to use it for Qurban. My BFF told me that if I saved 1 Ringgit a day, by the time Raya Haji approaches, I would have saved enough money for Qurban. So I thought, yeah, why not? Piggy banks are all about discipline and enthusiasm. And they always give you happy endings ^-^

Doing this belatedly. Can't help it, I overestimated myself and now suffer from bouts of guilt. To my over-thinking mind, recapping the year that passed is a must, no matter how late. I just hope I can still remember those life-defining moments that happened in 2015. Here goes: 1. Lost a very good friend, Rohaizad, who'd finally gotten his green card and migrated to the States to be with the love of his life. It's not like we've never been separated before. Ro has always moved around, and once in a blue moon he'd come back. But this time it felt different because his leaving has that sense of finality to it. We met for the last time in JB. I'll never forget his enthusiasm and  his almost child-like eagerness to meet up. We had coffee and goofed around at Jalan Dhoby. He was so happy with the farewell gift Lin and I got for him. Two Malaysian recipe books since he loves cooking so much.  I almost burst into tears when I bid him goodbye. He's such a good ...

Why do we put money into piggy banks? The reasons are varied but for me, it is a way of rewarding myself. I don't remember having a piggy bank when I was a child. Back then, I only got money for my school expenses, given by my Mom on a daily basis. The money that I got was only enough to get a decent meal during recess, so I didn't have extra money to put into a piggy bank. I watched with envy every time my Dad put some money into his piggy bank. He would put those small change that he got into his piggy bank, which was made of clay, a replica of a rooster. His reason was obscure to me, but come to think of it, maybe men just do not like carrying coins in their wallets. Or pockets, for that matter. The only time I would get lots of money was during Hari Raya. I would get some money from my family, uncles and aunties, but that would disappear fast as it would be used to buy whatever I needed. Yup, money was not easy for me to get back then. This is why when I entered ...

I was a Victorian lady last weekend ^-^ A friend had thrown a birthday party for his teenage daughter. The theme was 'Garden Party'. A quick google confirmed that this kind of theme would entail hats.  I have always liked wearing hats. Or caps, for that matter. If it is socially acceptable in my culture to wear hats around the clock, I would gladly do so. But, nah. I get to wear a hat only when the occasion  arises.  I had not bought a hat for a long time. So naturally I had to find one, to suit the 'Garden Party' theme. Went to Mid Val but the hats there were so expensive! I was reluctant to buy because of the probability that I would only wear it once. Victorian-style hats are occasion-specific, I think.  How I ended up with a nice hat, at the last minute, at a very cheap price, was funny! I had walked into a shop at my housing area because I thought I'd look for a flower hair clip or hair band to wear to the party. Then I saw this very nice, da...

Times have changed. And so has my wall of Rakish Inc.! Hehe. Well, some men are simply God's gifts to humanity!  1. Luke Evans Never has there been a sexier Dracula!  2. Mads Mikkelsen Some men are like wine. They get better with age. And a royal affair!  3. James Franco I like funny men!  4. Cristiano Ronaldo Not a football fan but this guy sure makes football a lot sexier!  5. Ebizo Ichikawa XI A samurai as rakish as this? Why not?  A man's face is his autobiography. ~ Oscar Wilde

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Soren Kierkegaard I have been very INACTIVE here. The reasons are many. I felt like I had nothing much to write. I was too preoccupied with work. I was lazy. I was too pissed-off with *_*  who must have thought it would be cool to be able to read (literally) my mind but then couldn't handle whatever shit that was written here. My mind is my essence. My mind is also the vortex of my inner chaos, which needs to be de-cluttered when the need arises. I don't need a man who gets easily offended  (and intimidated) by every single thing that I write, anyway. But now that he's no longer in my life, I can write whatever I want here. Not that I haven't been writing whatever I want. Hence this post. I hope to write more here in 2015. Haha. We'll see. This is not a resolution but I kinda have this vision that one day, when I am really, really, really old, I'm gonna  print ...